Author/Composer Dustin Oliver

CAST SIZE: 12

  All characters are featured.  

JEFF (baritone) – Male, 30-50. Costumed as Captain Kirk (gold shirt, black pants), Jeff is actually somewhat timid, turning on the bravado to play the character… “Fake it ‘til you make it.” He is more comfortable being himself with other Trekkies. 

TERRY BROMAN (tenor) – Male, 45-55. A spoiled, petty complainer who wants instant gratification. An only child and divorced, he is costumed as Captain Picard (maroon shirt, black pants) mainly because he is bald. He quickly defects to the Rogues and is rebranded as Lobot from Star Wars.

LANGSTON MELVILLE (baritone) – Male, mid-20s to late-30s. Dressed as Mr. Spock (blue shirt, black pants), Langston is a somewhat dull, aloof, intelligent, logical problem-solver who comes from an academic family. He graduated high school early and then earned two college degrees but lacks proper socialization, interpreting life through Star Trek. Having attended many workshops and seminars, his knowledge of obscure facts gets the Trekkies past some of their hurdles. 

CHRISTINE (mezzo) – Female, 30-45. A marriage counselor from Portland, Oregon, she is dressed in lavender as Counselor Deanna Troi, complete with a tricorder purse. Christine is a vegan, empathetic, a listener, but no pushover. Married for a decade, with no children. Although a marriage counselor, her own marriage is strained. 

HAROLD (tenor) – Male, 30-50. A quirky, socially awkward, balding hypochondriac dressed as the holographic Doctor from Voyager (blue shirt, black pants). He pretends (or believes?) to be invisible when “turned off,” actually a manifestation of his social anxiety. 

LINA (mezzo) – Female, 20s-30s. A sexy ass-kicker, dressed in a form-fitting suit. Bossy, stronger than the men, and the muscle of the group. Her no-nonsense, military bearing fits her choice of costume—the cyborg Seven of Nine. She was an army brat and daddy’s girl, and works as a security consultant. 

DEVIN (baritone) – Male, 18-20. An ingenious tinkerer, a “MacGyver”-type problem-solver. No college, aimless, lives with his mother, and doesn’t yet recognize his natural gifts. He is costumed in Wesley Crusher’s grey sweater with rainbow stripes, with some sort of a utility bag or belt that contains tools. 

MARK (baritone) – male, 30s-40s. A sassy, self-serving, fighter, rogue, swashbuckling misogynist. Dressed as Han Solo in the tightest of pants, a large belt buckle, a large cigar, and a prop “blaster” pistol strapped to his thigh, he likes the machismo of the Han Solo character & tries to emulate him. He relishes his role as the leader of the Rogues. 

EMMA (mezzo) – Female, early 20s. Recent college grad, preparing to attend law school. Strong-willed, a little rough, & more of a natural leader than Mark but is outnumbered by the men. Living with her overbearing, divorced, blue-collar father has prepared her for this dynamic; she can pace Dad and his friends on eating and drinking. Drawn to Star Wars for its depiction of strong women, particularly the combination of sass and femininity of Princess Leia. She is costumed in Leia’s white gown and iconic hair buns. 

ROY (tenor) – Male, 30-45. Dressed as a Stormtrooper with a visible plush Baby Yoda doll in his backpack. Roy misses everything; he’s absent-minded, possibly ADD, clumsy, and unobservant. He’s also an air traffic controller and is ultimately revealed to be Christine’s husband. His helmet is always on.

BERNIE (baritone) – Male, 50-75. A cantankerous old heckler costumed in evil Emperor Palpatine’s black robes and gnarled cane (with a hidden flask), Bernie is perpetually irritated with Roy and pretty much everyone else. As befitting any galactic emperor with a negative disposition, Bernie has an opinion on just about everything. 

SHIP’S CAPTAIN (baritone) – Male, 40s-50s. A pompous windbag who is disgruntled that the cruise line caters to fan conventions. 

SAILOR’S VOICE (non-singing) – Any age or sex, can be pre-recorded

EMERGENCY VOICE (non-singing) – Female, pre-recorded voice 

APPALACHIAN RADIO VOICE (non-singing) – Any age or sex, can be pre-recorded. Strong hillbilly accent.